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Cap'n Earthshine Saicin
Fox News basically believes that because all the other news channels and general public are a little too progressive as they see it, they need to hyper-focus on one side of the problem, and be raging juggernauts of SUPER ULTRA EXTREMEST CONSERVATISM to 'cancel out' the combined influence of their opponents. I'm not projecting here; this is an actual thing, and something that an actual Fox News pundit has said.

Feminists (the modern extremist kind) are the same way, but with sexism. They see that the world is full of billions of tiny injustices toward women, hyper-focus on one side of the problem, and decide to be raging juggernauts of SUPER ULTRA EXTREMIST ANTI-MALE SEXISM to counteract it, because they think it will help balance things out for women.

It doesn't help. It's entirely counterproductive. Fox News knows this; they're owned by a giant media company, which is in one business and one business only: making money by selling media consumption. They do this intentionally, because they know it will make people angry, divide and polarize the public and block real progress, ensuring that their capitalizing on public outrage is perpetual.

I'm a socialist, and a humanist. I believe in progressive social change, equality, justice, fair treatment and compassion for everyone, regardless of race, color, age, gender, religion, social status, or physical or mental health. I acknowledge that we have come a long way on all of those fronts, but that we still have a long way to go. We have serious, widespread and systemic problems on all fronts ranging from mundane prejudices to full-blown oppression, and it's not going to go away anytime soon, but it is getting better. In fact, it's gotten a lot better, just in the last half century. On some fronts, in the more civilized parts of the world, we're almost there... but I don't think we'll see a time to celebrate in our lifetimes.

We owe a lot of that progress to civil disobedience and rebellion against oppressive societies, and forcing change through governmental oversight. The closer we get though to a better society, the more we need to rely on bringing both sides to the table and reaching a mutual understanding. We can't fight civil wars over things like equal pay and respect for each other, because wars only further divide. The only way to continue making progress at that point is for both sides to accept and understand that we're all human beings deserving of fair and equal treatment, and to act on it together. That takes a serious and concerted effort from everyone involved to extend an olive branch; put aside your petty differences, and treat others with respect and understanding, the way you want to be treated.

Feminists screaming the battle cry that all white men are misogynistic scum just waiting for rape to be made legal so they can finally embark on the rampage of violence and hate against women they've been waiting their whole lives to do, is no more productive toward achieving gender equality than patriarchal fanaticists who think women should be property forbidden to do anything without orders from a man. As much as these feminists will try and argue that all men think exactly that, it's not remotely true. In most of the world, that kind of oppression died centuries ago, and all of the hyperbole and distortion only serves to insulate feminists from any progress and derail any attempt to bring them to the table to help fix things.

There are a lot of men who are, like me, on the side of progressive social change and gender equality, and any time they try to enter the discussion to help out and bring real positive change, they get character assassinated by feminists accusing them of all kinds of terrible prejudice, hate, and violence toward women, simply for being male. This is not feminists reaching across the isle. It's them pushing themselves away and actively undoing good faith so they can continue to play the oppressed victim.

It needs to stop. When you attack us for being men, it's no different than if we had attacked you for being a woman, and we haven't done that, or anything to be deserving of such an attack. You can play the victim of the white male patriarchal establishment all you want. We get it; life isn't fair. But don't you dare attack us personally for trying to help.

I know I'm going to catch flak for this, but I don't care because it needs to be said. Frankly, anyone who's going to personally attack me for my stance on the matter isn't someone I or any forward-thinking progressive needs in their life anyway, so either agree to disagree, or don't let the door hit you on your way out.
Cap'n Earthshine Saicin
16 May 2012 @ 11:59 pm
'99 Honda VFR800 Interceptor!
Cap'n Earthshine Saicin
10 April 2012 @ 09:57 pm
In wake of a recent spate of abuse from certain FA admins that will not be named, which has affected both me and some of my close friends on this site, it is highly probable I will be packing up and deleting all of my work from this site, and moving to another competing art site.

What started as rude, immature and unprofessional behavior from an admin, including insulting monologue in the public comments on my submissions, culminated into an unjustified suspension of my FA account, as well as the accounts of other people whom were entirely uninvolved. This is just another, more personal example of the many inconsiderate and abusive behaviors from the FA staff toward its users, and as of now, still no apology or recompense has been offered to any of the people affected.

In light of this, the fact that FA staff continue to refuse to own their behavior and make amends, [i]especially[/i] to the uninvolved parties that were mistakenly banned from the site without appeal during the fallout from this, and that the FA administration still feels that the best policy for dealing with adversity or disagreements is to suspend people involved and then pretend the problems don't exist, I feel it is no longer appropriate to support this site or its dysfunctional administrative team. If something is not done to set this right soon, I will be purging my gallery and leaving the site, and encouraging the other people involved to do the same.

With apologies to all of my watchers, as well as the people whom I converse with and support on this site, I will provide further details on where to find me at that time.

This has been cross-posted from FA to prevent deletion by the FA admins.
Cap'n Earthshine Saicin
A friend of mine is very sick, and I am really concerned for his well-being.

He came down with something over a month ago, doctor thought it was rocky mountain spotted fever... he had the right kind of rash, then, anyway... but after he finished the antibiotic treatment he got really sick again, with different symptoms, more like Lyme's disease, or something. Flu-like symptoms, rashes, extreme joint pain, inflammation, extreme pain and swelling in his feet, neuropathy in his fingers... he can't walk, drive, do much of anything . Now the regular doctor won't see him because he still owes money he can't pay, so he's gone to the ER like 4 times since they can't refuse to see him, but all they ever do is see him for 5 minutes, tops, give him some pain pills and a few antibiotics that obviously aren't doing anything, then kick him out the door with another huge fucking bill.

I don't know if he's being discriminated against because he's native american, or just because he's poor, but the hospital is clearly only interested in sinking him in debt and not helping him. He needs sound medical advice, and money for treatment, and I want to know if there's anyone out there that can help him with either... please let me know. Thanks.
Cap'n Earthshine Saicin
26 April 2011 @ 05:13 pm
One way or another, the situation here is about to change, because I am done with Geno's bullshit. I'm not sure how exactly it's going to end up panning out, but most likely something like this. I'm going to be moving out soon and finding another place in the cities, where I won't have to deal with the urge to strangle Geno every day. I'm fed up with it, and the little prick has the gall to think he can start a war with me, like he makes the rules around here, when he's already been told he needs to leave.

I remember about 3 months ago, he came crying to me, begging me to talk to Jackal on his behalf to let him stay here, after he was told his lease wasn't being renewed. He made all kinds of promises, that he would start cleaning up after himself, treating others fairly, not hoarding house resources, stop fucking with my home network, and all of this shit. I didn't believe one word of his "changed man" BS, because I know him better than that, in fact, it was kind of insulting, given his reputation, and knowing he was lying through his teeth the entire sob story. Sure enough, nothing at all changed. He continued to leave his mess spread out around the house, and especially the kitchen, he continued to eat my food and not replace it, to hoard common resources, and to fuck with the network. In fact, no fewer than 5 times in the last 3 months (no exaggeration) he has attempted to commandeer the home network by installing his own broken router between the modem and good router, thereby breaking the network, because his router didn't work for anything but his own private wireless hotspot. Fixman and I have gotten extremely tired of telling him, repeatedly, to take it down and stop fucking with the network, and each time, he has begrudgingly agreed, only to put it back up again a few weeks later, thinking we won't notice that the internet doesn't work again.

And so we come to the recent events, the tipping point, if you will... after he put that bad router in the network the other night, again, everything broke, again. He wasn't home, and Raven was sleeping, so I didn't want to disturb her by going down there to remove it myself, so I left him a note, asking him again to take it down and stop breaking our network. He responded with a note of his own saying that since the account was in his name, he made the rules, and he was blocking me from accessing the internet. So I pulled him aside to talk, and he ran away to hide in Raven's room so I couldn't talk to him without disturbing her, the same BS he always pulls... I'm sick of it.

I reminded him that since he didn't have a lease and wasn't supposed to be living here anymore, he wasn't supposed to be making any rules, and I was going to have to take it up with Jackal if he refused to talk to me and fix the situation. He then lies to me again, and says that Jackal agreed to let him stay now, and that I couldn't do anything about it, and if I tried anything, he'd call the cops on me and tell them I was breaking his stuff. I pointed out that was a bad idea, considering the fact he was already in trouble with the law, and with all of the other stuff I had on him, he'd only succeed in helping me make his life a living hell. I had to leave the house to avoid strangling him, and now am typing this entry up on a friend's computer, because my phone is not working.

Raven, of course, backs Geno, like she always does, the two of them covering for each other for their criminal conduct against another former tenant, as well, and since they're both involved in all that shit, of course they're going go cover for each other at home, too. Meanwhile, Raven is all but in bed with Jackal, so of course she has his ear, yet it still surprised me when he backed their position, saying they wanted me out. Those two, who trash the house, stir up drama, get in trouble with the law, and Geno who never pays his rent, hoards house resources, eats everyone's food, etc... and he's backing THEM, while I always pay my rent on time, always clean up after myself, and frequently clean up after everyone else. It still came as a surprise, and felt like a stab in the back. So, unless he reverses his stance on the matter in the near future, I'm leaving. I'm done with this shit. I don't have the money to move, or anywhere to go just yet, but regardless, I'm going to make it happen, because I am not letting those two fuck up my life the way they fucked up their own.

I feel sorry for Jackal living with them, but it's his choice, and the fact that he's letting Geno win out over me just hurts. That's personal, and as much as I like him, I'm not going to live with that just for his sake. I need to look after myself.
Cap'n Earthshine Saicin
16 April 2011 @ 02:36 pm
I hereby release this journal entry into the public domain and authorize anyone to repost and republish in any form on any site, not limited to FA and LJ.

This journal will eventually be posted on FA, and we'll see how long it takes for me to get banned again for it.

What follows is a concise history of recent events:

Friday, I wrote a game modification for some friends on FA, and published the source code. Rather than spamming them with a wall of text and whitespace, I compressed the code and appended it to the small-resolution preview image and uploaded it to FA, so that my description with explanation and directions for using the code wouldn't appear below all the code itself, and the whole thing was sized less than 100kb. Creative circumvention of the technical limitations of FA? yes. Against site policy? no.

Someone on IRC took offense to the fact that I was using FA for something other than his fap material, and reported it to the admins, upon which witchiebunny took the ticket and summarily deleted my submission without due course, and sent me a note saying that it was removed for being a screenshot. I corrected her, pointing out that the screenshot was just the preview image, and that preview images ("thumbnails") were exempt from said content restrictions according to the AUP, and that my source code, being text written by myself, was likewise permitted.

Witchiebunny, refusing to acknowledge her mistake, instead constructed a strawman argument to attack in defense of her decision, and turned confirmation bias up to eleven. I responded by pointing out that her self-justification was unprofessional and just skirting the issue, to which she tried changing the rules, saying that even as a thumbnail, screenshots were disallowed (which isn't true according to the AUP). I responded in kind, saying that if this was the case, she should be enforcing this unilaterally, by deleting half of ALL the non-graphical-art submissions on FA, as they all used preview images that relied on the thumbnail exemption from the AUP. Her arguments continued to spiral downhill, until I got her to basically reaffirm my position in the argument in her own words, not realizing it. When I pointed that out, she played the "my word is final" card and the power card ("don't mess with me, I'm an admin, so I can ban you.") and then blocked me from replying to her.

Amidst all of this, I and some others were having a good laugh at her childish behavior, and when I mentioned her name, I was immediately filled in about her reputation as an admin of the TFP steam group, always kicking good players from the opposing team to keep her own team from losing.

So I posted a journal, very briefly mentioning that she had deleted my submission and then blocked me from replying in order to win the argument, and how I thought this sounded right in line with the other things I was hearing about her administrative exploits elsewhere (although I did not name any specifics or more details than that). I got a number of responses to that journal, mostly other people reaffirming our opinions that she was a bad admin, and someone thinking she had been removed as an admin before.

I returned the next morning to find that Summercat had banned me from FA, "for posting a journal (now removed) calling out an admin for justified removal and warning.[sic]"

So apparently, according to Summercat, accurately reporting on administrative behavior on FA is a bannable offense. He also claims that "[the issue was brought up by witchiebunny] to several admins for review, myself included."

Well, since this journal is already in FA bannable territory, let me just go on to name a few more admins who might follow this twisted line of thinking:

ArshesNei: holier-than-thou whiteknight on a high horse with a massive superiority complex, believes in might-is-right and jumps at any opportunity to back her fellow admins.

Dragoneer: Resident donation-monger, useless puppet and supporter of pedophiles and zoophiles everywhere. Covers up for rapists and animal abuses, and tips them off to help them hide from the law. Cares only about his own popularity, and never thinks about the consequences of his actions.

Summercat: Gets a hard-on for exerting his authority for enforcing rules, regardless of their wording or intent, and makes up his own rules to enforce, like a gradeschool kid lording over his first clubhouse.

and of course, Witchiebunny: openly abuses admin powers to selfish ends, can never admit mistakes or wrongdoings, or allow herself to lose on fair terms, even in a videogame.

Lest you think this is all some juvenile rebellion against authority, here is a list of some admins who don't suck, are even-tempered, level-headed and forward-thinking, all qualities this site needs:


Unfortunately, all of these admins have resigned at some point in the last 3 years, just another indication of the direction the site is headed. Ultimately, I don't care anymore, because I know turning FA around is a lost cause with an admin team like that, and I have no stake in it. They can ban me for speaking truth, but they can't stop the truth from getting out, and frankly, I don't care if they ban me, because I'm just waiting for a better site to take off, anyway.

Best of luck to Inaki and crew on floof.
Cap'n Earthshine Saicin
08 September 2010 @ 08:09 pm
The traffic lights in st. Cloud are the worst on the entire planet, bar none. Everyone i know who has lived here or driven here agrees with me: the only explination for them is that they were very carefully planned and designed to hold up as much traffic as possible for as long as possible in as many directions as possible. Every light in st cloud will automatically turn red for any approaching traffic. Frequently, it will have traffic stopped and backed up waiting for the light from 4 or more directions at once--its not green for ANYONE. Lights will stay red for up to 10 minutes at a time while traffic waits at them, even when there is no traffic crossing in another direction. Left turn lights will trigger only once in 3 cycles, unless there is no one waiting for that turn light, in which case it triggers twice per cycle in order to hold up other traffic. Ive had trips shorter than 3 miles take more than 20 minutes here (like the trip from home to the pharmacy, or menards) it always takes at least 12 minutes to go the 4 miles from home to the interstate (3.5 of which is a 50mph zone) on the way to work, and sometimes as long as half an hour, making me late for work.

I have 2 theories at this point: either it was designed by a sadistic disgruntled engineer who hated the city and wanted to punish them before leaving his job, or it was designed to try and force more people to use the bus system.

I know at least 2 people who have actually called or written the city to complain. I wonder what it would take to actually fix it.

Posted via LjBeetle
Cap'n Earthshine Saicin
27 August 2009 @ 08:39 pm
I haven't done anything like this before, because it feels like leeching off of my friends and taking advantage of the goodwill of others... the truth is, it makes me sick to even consider taking charity, and those who know me must know how desperate I am and how hard it is for me to ask this...

I need money.
I can barely scrape by, paycheck-to-paycheck, on what I make with my full-time job. It's been increasingly hard to pay the bills after the economic downturn, and I have no cash buffer left for emergencies. Now I have an emergency.

The short version is this: I had a large filling some years ago due to a chipped molar that had gone too long without work. The filling broke since then, and damaged the nerve. I need a root canal and crown, and after all the other dental work I need along with it, the bill comes out at around $3100. I need it done sometime in the next month, or I'm likely to lose the tooth, or worse, from infection.

So... if you want to help, I'll be taking donations... every little bit helps... but know that I'm not selling favors, nor will I in all likelihood be able to pay anyone back. If you're interested in helping, please contact me privately in notes, and I'll give you an email address you can paypal to.
Cap'n Earthshine Saicin
15 January 2009 @ 07:14 pm
The layoff couldn't possibly have come at a less convenient time.... Two weeks earlier, and I could have gotten back into college and been set up to ride out the first part of the recession getting the skills I needed to succeed.... Two weeks later, and I would have had the savings I needed to find a new place to live and seek employment abroad. Likewise if I had been notified in advance rather than just let go, I could have made plans to work around it... so here I am, rather stuck.

The foremost concern is finding a new job. I've given up on pursuing a decent salary in my career field at this point, and am looking to settle for much lower, which means even tighter budgets, even less money for food, rent, transportation, digging my way out of college debt, etc... so I will need supplementary income. If at all possible I will be delegating my time to working two jobs, at least one full-time if not both. In any case, whether looking for jobs, or working them, I will not have the liberty of much free time to post here, or work on my stories, so they will probably be put off indefinitely, not that I believe anyone expected them to come anytime soon by now anyway.

Depending on how things go over the spring and summer, I may be able to pursue college one more time in the fall... I only hope I can scrape together the time between everything else to get my tuition, loans, schedules and courses in order far enough in advance this time to make it workable.

The other possibility is still to save enough money to move... for that I will need one of two things: an assured job at a decent salary within the next two weeks before the accumulated pay stops coming from my last job, plus a week to prepare and some lucky opportunities to travel affordably, OR, to work my ass clean off at two jobs for long enough to afford the opportunity again.

The former would take a stroke of luck such as I've never before experienced in my life, and given my track record, I'm not going to count on it, but it's definitely the more pleasant possibility at this point... because the latter is going to require an incredible amount of hard work and near-perfect focus amidst such an overabundance of stress that I'm likely to snap, and never an hour much less a day's rest for months to a year.

The good news, is that I don't have to worry about losing my mind... since it's such a near certainty that it will happen either way, I can just accept it and move on... that's always the best part about having no choice in a matter -- the hardships lose their significance.

Oh, and the third option? The services may take me now... some friends say the Army, the others say the Air Force... I'm still carefully considering the costs and benefits of each... For my friends' sake, I want to choose the Air Force, for mine... I don't know. I could use the pain of the Army right now, to take my mind off other things.

I welcome any guidance on the matter.
Cap'n Earthshine Saicin
11 January 2009 @ 02:34 pm
Well since the last post, things have taken another turn for the worse... I got laid off, or rather 'fired', since my employer decided to make up a shtty excuse for letting me go rather than just call a spade a spade... In the end, I know he's just trying to protect his assets, since he can't afford me filing for unemployment on the grounds of an illegal termination... and since he's a former lawyer, I suppose that means he's already got it figured out how he'll defend his case in court if I took it there, so I'm kinda in the shit, especially with the eviction looming only a couple weeks away.

Anyway... the search for a new job has not gone well... there's simply nobody hiring in my field, and even the lesser-paying jobs that can't meet cost of living are taken by highschoolers these days. The most common thing I've been called when asking for an interview is 'overqualified'. The fact of the matter is that nobody wants to pay anyone enough to make a living, and they know that I'll ask it, if not up front, down the road....

I have basically two options open to me now... take out more loans, and go deeper into debt, to go back to college, in the perhaps false hopes that another 2 years will get me a job that can pay it all off in the end, or join the military.

I'm going to MCTC Tomorrow (Monday) to see if the loans might be manageable after cost of living this term, and for the next 2 years... though after the failure at USF, and being forced to drop out of all my classes without refund at no fault of my own, while being stuck in a $900/mo rent contract with the college, and all of it tallying up at a >10% interest rate, I'm not sure I'm willing to bend over for the educational system again.

On Tuesday I go to the army recruiter's... I may sign. If I do, you probably won't see much of me for 4 years or more. In my present condition, it will be hell... but in the end, it will help me get the education I need, give me a place to live, pay off my debt, and possibly whip me into shape well enough to add several years onto my life beyond what I devote to it.

I can't go on like I have been, anyway... there's nobody for me here, and losing my job now dashed any hopes of moving somewhere near friends. The army is a long commitment, and I will hate the separation it brings, and while I welcome much of the change it will bring in my life, I don't know what else it will do to me, or if I will like who I will become... but it may be my only real option, and when it comes down to it, I'm willing to serve my country in that way.
Current Mood: stoic
Current Music: Silence